10 Ways To Change Your Mind About Getting Married (and why you should)

Summer is, finally, here. It is also the most popular time for weddings! Whether you are attending or planning a wedding, it is important to remember that a marriage is one of the important acts you might participate in, as you tread the path of personal development.

  1. Love is not something that we just fall into (as the romantic songs suggest). Love is a sacred practice which we get better at it over time!

 

  1. A marriage is not just about wedding party planning. It’s a marriage (or a merger) that you are preparing for. Take time out to write your own ‘contract’, what you expect and hope to achieve within it.

 

  1. Marriage is about ‘growing up’ going from being a single person to a married one with a spouse. It is a not only a change, but a transition into a new life cycle, one which you have to prepare for, consider, and become skilful at.

 

  1. Marriage is about learning to co-navigate, to share, to integrate who you are with another individual. If you think about it, in marriage, two complete and whole individuals with their great potentials and their flaws are merging into a partnership that is beyond any union.

 

  1. The act of marriage is a “sacred” one – and I don’t mean that in a religious sense; but a personal one. It is the huge commitment to love, honour, and cherish another human for a lifetime. And that is extraordinarily meaningful in itself.

 

  1. The wedding ceremony is just the ritual that establishes and honours the commitment, and makes it legal. And the wedding reception is a way for you to celebrate your commitment with family and friends and share your joy.

 

  1. Make it special not expensive. If you are getting married and have decided to plan a wedding, you might as well enjoy it. Focusing and stressing over every little detail of the wedding is not only exasperating but can also over stretch your finances – instigating many arguments once the honeymoon is over.

 

  1. Make it meaningful for the both of you. Focusing on what is truly important – your union. If you can’t, make it really special – elope!

 

  1. Last minute getters? A Healthy Women Study at the University of Pittsburgh says that “happily married women and single women have healthier profiles than divorced or unhappily married women”. The study defines “healthier” as less likely to develop “metabolic syndrome,” which is linked to health risks, especially heart disease. In a separate study about married men, researchers from the University of Pittsburgh found that the more frequently men talk to their wives, the less their arteries clog, and the healthier their hearts are.

 

  1. Communicate with your partner throughout planning your wedding. You are both likely to, according research- be happier and live longer!

 

“Wedding planning is not about how to put the whole event together. It is about how to keep yourself together, how to stay close to your groom, how to be loving yet set boundaries with your family….”

© Sahar Huneidi 2017

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Living in a Material World

Sometimes, it seems that the modern world focuses only on the importance of materialism, being a celebrity, or the monetary values of ‘things’. We are offered images of abundance, beautiful houses, elegant clothes, perfectly formed bodies, all of which we are encouraged to aspire to.

Women are exposed to this barrage of advertising; are especially under pressure to do the best for their families, and look beautiful for their husbands. The old credit card slogan was “take the waiting out of wanting,” the sub-text is that you CAN have it now. The life styles on offer have the air of impossible dreams, and we max out our cards chasing this delusion.

Holistic Approach

In the rush of consumerism, the crises and joys of family life we lack the time to reflect on what this materialism is actually offering us, or to find out and whether it has actually made us truly (spiritually) happy, making us feel inadequate in the race of life. This can create a ‘disconnect’ or ‘break down’ between our personal values and our expectations; we are uncertain what to do, and how much is enough. So, how do we reconcile our wants and needs? Indeed how do we reconcile either with our pesonal growth and discover how to create a more balanced way of live?

What IS our relationship to the material world? How do we evaluate or react to such catastrophes in a world that we imagine we can control? Spiritual schools from time immemorial have highlighted the universal connection between everything that exists in our world, and today science is increasingly demonstrating the deep inter-connection, in the complex universe we inhabit.

My personal experience leads me to believe that while we need to keep one foot steadfastly in the material word, the other has to be just as firmly planted in the spiritual world. Maintaining a ‘wholistic’ view of our world, will help us keep our balance as we experience, react and live our daily lives. We need to remind ourselves often that our essence is really spirit, infinite spirit. The possibilities for our spiritual growth are also infinite.

Valuable thoughts
There is a degree of truth in the old adage ‘the best things in life are free’. From our soul’s perspective, what is truly fulfilling or gratifying certainly has no monetary value. An act of kindness, sending out healing, or a loving thought to people, our planet, and the areas of disaster are but a few examples of what is really meaningful. A small thoughtful action can have an equal and tangible reaction. In times of disaster our ‘prayers’ and good intentions are needed most, there is little else that we can offer.

My own understanding of spirit is mainly in terms of energy. I see everything (material and immaterial) as being made essentially from the same ‘energy’; which is continuously flowing like drops of rain which all flow towards the same river. As energy flows, it grows or evolves, transforms, and transmutes in either directions- positive or negative, depending on our self-will, intentions and actions. What helps Energy evolve, is our individual conscious awareness that everything is connected, and that our actions have consequences. Everything, including thought, is felt and will have a consequence – no matter how small. In a sense, we are connected to the planet we live on, and everything in it, as much as we are to our immediate family.

How to reconnect
Next time, you feel the pinch in your wallet, stop and reflect on whether your inner being is starving for this spiritual connection we all strive for; rather than for the latest must-have ‘thing’.

Here are few suggestions:

  • Before you go to bed, or when you are out walking or meditating, remember to send loving thoughts (or pink light) to your home, your neighbourhood, your country and our planet, so it too may heal and balance.
  • When you pass by a person, before your leap to judge their behaviour or looks (or immediately after), send them a loving thought (or golden light- just over their head) to help them be their true self; they probably need light more than most.
  • When you a see a beautiful flower, or a tree, let it know! Send a loving thought showing your appreciation for it; remembering it took it millions of years of evolution to get to this perfect stage just for the moment when your eyes catch it.
  • When you are happy and over-flowing with joy, remember to direct some of your joy by thanking and sending loving thoughts to (Spirit) the immaterial world you are part of.
  • When you light a candle, or a flame, remember to ‘transform’ and send this light to ‘whoever needs it’.
  • When nature strikes back, remember that our planet and its resources are perishable; remember to buy Eco-green!

Easy Harmony, by Sahar Huneidi

When we are disappointed with our life because it does not seem to be going according to our expectations, our first reaction is to insist on having it go ‘our way’. This can lead to further disappointment. As we get fixated on our desires, the angst is prolonged. Yet, by learning to see things in a different way, we can begin to understand how to create more harmony and fewer disappointments.

The simple truth is this: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When we try too hard to force or push an issue, an idea, or an outcome we believe we desire, we are inadvertently generating an equal force in the opposite direction a boomerang effect if you like. However, by asking for the right outcome and maintaining our efforts in seeking it; we can harmonise the force we direct and consequently experience an easy-going life. Applying the Harmony principle as we ‘navigate’ through life, can help us understand how to create a less dramatic and more fulfilling life.

Yin & Yang

There are two important factors which influence the state of harmony we all strive for in our lives: Intention, and Commitment. These two factors dictate or mould the spiritual ‘template’, which in turn shapes the outcome of what we desire to create; how it manifests and when. The universal energy (creative force or Life Force) has two aspects: Yin and Yang, female and male, content and container.

In this case, the intention is the content, and the commitment is the ‘energetic’ container. Each aspect compliments the other towards creating a third aspect: the outcome (or the result). This is sometimes expressed as 1+1 =3. The outcome we might experience as a result of combining our intentions and commitments can be harmony and balance; or disharmony where more chaos is generated making us feel stuck experiencing ‘the same old story’.

Intention

Ask yourself what your intention is? Is the result you wish for in your best interest, or is it a reaction that stems out of the ‘lower self’- or the ego? If your intentions stem out of fear of not getting the right job or having that partner etc., things can backfire. As they say, be careful what you wish for! Once our intention is clear and stems from a true and genuine desire to improve our situation (and not because of selfish reasons); our actions decisions and the steps we take are then naturally centred on achieving our higher goals.

Commitment

By staying committed to maintaining the efforts which help us fulfil what our soul naturally yearn for, we are in effect creating a potent ‘alignment’ that clicks the right content and container together. This alignment is what helps us to materialise a timely harmonious outcome which is in the soul’s best interest. For example, when your intentions are for ‘highest good’, but you give up easily and do not keep up your efforts long enough; what you desire might not manifest precisely in the way you hope for. Things might almost happen, never happen, or happen to early or too late. In other words the result is out of sync.

Think of it in this way, any new mould or container you are creating needs to ‘solidify’ before it can produce that desired outcome. The need to maintain a degree of constancy in what we do is essential, until we achieve harmony. This new perspective becomes a way of life, and the results we achieve can be quite astonishingly favourable. Results can be realised more quickly, when you also ask that they manifests for the highest good of all those involved not just your own. For example, intend on you having the right loving relationship and ask that your ex does as well!

Pointers on the path to Harmony

  • Face up to the ‘real’ motives for what you desire.
  • Discern whether this desire is for your highest good or is it out of ‘revenge’ or selfish reasons. For example, do you really desire getting an ex-lover back, or is what you desire a truly loving nurturing relationship?
  • Once you clarify your intention in your mind, write it down. This seals your commitment and guides your decisions and actions to manifesting a harmonious result in a precise and timely way.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony” Mahatma Gandhi

Do you have any comments?